chandelier
by darasun
Summary: It's swaying...TRORY


Rory smiled. The sunlight was streaming through the windows in her room as she slowly rolled over and came face to face with a sleeping form. 

His nose twitched as she softly blew into his hair, marvelling how feathery soft it felt beneath her fingertips. 

Her eyes travelled down and met with now opened eyes. 

Lazily blinking eyes. Blue clashed with blue. 

He smiled and she smiled right back.

_"Bible boy."_

_"Mary."_

_"Fancy seeing you here."_

Every morning was like that. Rory was so scared that it had all been a beautiful dream, but then she would clasp her hands together and feel the cool metal encircling her finger and she would breath with relief.

_"You're going to Yale?" Rory was surprised._

_"I'm not going to spend the rest of my life in Military school, Mary." He sneered._

_"No," She said, flustered, "I'm just surprised that's all"_

_"So…….how did the play go?"_

_"Good."_

Emma would jump on the bed. Rory would always laugh at the little girl's sheer delight when her daddy propped her up on his shoulders to take her down to breakfast, winking at Rory every damn time. 

Kodak moments. 

He was no longer that arrogant Chiltonite she once loved to hate, or the cold boy, fresh from military school, who she ran into at a gift shop. He was the friend. Lovely images of Yale and sailing and so much laughter.

_"Tristan, where are we going?" Rory tried to shrug off his hand that was covering her eyes._

_"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" He smirked._

_She smiled. "I'll act surprised, would that help?"_

_He pretended to think about it. "No."_

_"Damn."_

_She tripped over something on the ground. She let out an'oof' and fell straight into him, both of them tumbling to the ground. _

_Both of them started laughing. "Mary, did you really think that was going to make me tell you where we're going?"_

_She pouted. "I tripped." She protested._

_He winked at her, even though she couldn't see it. "Sure, you did."_

_She crossed her arms. "Where's the trust?" She complained._

_"Right…….." He shifted so he wasn't blocking the view, "Here."_

_She smiled._

Rory felt strange this morning. She shrugged it off. 

_……she clutched at her head, but as soon as the pain came…….it was gone………she shrugged it off._

_Why aren't you eating_, he was puzzled. She just shook her head and sort of gave that wry half smile that he always lost himself in. He forgot what he was saying.

_"Why are you so addicted to coffee?" Tristan laughed as they sat at the Yale café._

_"I don't know," She inhaled happily, "You can blame my mom for that."_

_"Runs in the family, huh."_

_She finished the coffee off in three gulps and he looked on in amazement. He smirked. "I wished you liked me that much." He joked._

_She smirked right back at him. "Never!" She cried dramatically._

_"We'll see." He replied._

Kitchen table. Favourite coffee cup. She was nursing it to disguise the fact that she didn't want any. He bent to kiss her forehead quickly before he left for work. Emma was at school.

Kitchen table. Favourite coffee cup. She stood up and blinked. Something had tilted. She looked down at the smashed glass and the brown liquid spilling onto the floor. Rosa rushed in and promised to clean it up. 

_"One party, tonight…….please?" He pouted as they walked._

_She was unsure. "Tristan," She said carefully, "You know I'm here to study, right?"_

_He gave her a wry grin. "Yes, Rory. I do plan to graduate. But you don't have any classes tomorrow, only one paper that you've practically already finished…….what else are you going to do tonight?"_

_"Well-"_

_"-Without me I mean." He crossed his arms._

_She shrugged. "Nothing, I guess." She admitted._

_"You're going." _

_"Do I get any say in this?"_

_"Nope. C'mon, Mary, you'll have fun. I promise."_

Lane. Sixteen years old and giggling over boys and bands but definitely not the two combined. Lane couldn't even meet her eyes as she fiddled with the hem of her white coat. Rory looked down too. 

_"Rory, you do everything together!" Lane said, exasperated as she stared at a cross-legged Rory, sitting on the bed._

_"He's my best friend." Rory said defensively._

_"He comes to your Friday night dinners." Lane crossed her arms._

_"My grandparents like him."_

_"Admit it."_

_"Admit what?" That innocent smile._

_"That you are deeply, insanely, head over heels in love with Bible boy."_

_Rory stared at her. _

_And then Lane grinned._

_She realised she was right._

_What, _He said, his brow furrowed, his ears surely deceiving him, she said it again, _cancer. _

He shook his head. _No, no, no._

Silence.

_Please don't cry, _she had whispered.

Rory walked in as the music was blaring. Tristan's hand was at the small of her back, leading her in and the feeling was oddly comforting. 

_Rory stood in the living room, or what she perceived as the living room, as she couldn't really tell because of the dancing bodies. _

_"I'm going to get some drinks." Tristan left briefly._

_A few moments later, someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to face Chris, a journalist major she had talked to once or twice in her class. He smiled at her._

_"Hey Rory," He leant against the wall, "Didn't really expect to see you here."_

_She smiled. "I'm surprised myself."_

_"Want to dance?" He asked._

_"Oh," She was hesitant, "I'm kinda here with s-"_

_"-She's kind of here with someone." Tristan came and handed her a drink._

_Rory smiled apologetically at Chris. _

_Chris held out a hand. "I'm Chris, and you're…….?"_

_"Tristan," He replied firmly, "Rory's boyfriend."_

_Rory gave him a funny look._

Emma, still smiling as always, clung to her mother's leg, wondering why there was so much silence.

Rory forced herself to look down at her daughter, who had her father's eyes and felt she couldn't possibly escape it. It came. 

_"He was completely hitting on you!" _

_Rory scoffed. "He was just being nice."_

_"They're always nice to start off with." Tristan argued._

_"So…….Rory's boyfriend?" She raised an eyebrow and quirking a small smile._

_He didn't answer. _

Why was it raining indoors?

In that haze, his arms encircled her waist. She breathed in his after-shave. _Don't take me away. _

And Emma was still smiling.

_That kiss._

_A desire so powerful it hurt. _

_…….I'm not good for you Rory……..you deserve so much more…….don't I get to decide? …….No…….He laughed…….is that it? ……._

_Their lips touched. So softly at first it felt like breathing. Her fingers wound themselves in his hair in delight. Her small frame was engulfed by his arms as he pressed her towards him. _

_…….Please don't cry. He was panicked…….and all she could say…….do I look sad?_

That call. Lorelai. Rory hung up five times before she could even say hello.

_Wassup munchkin? _Rory nearly laughed. Nearly.

She admitted to prank calling and then it was the good days. Her and her mom, watching Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory and sparring on the likelihood that one day they would inherit Starbuck's.

_"So, goryness-ness or?"_

_"Or." Rory nodded, munching on chips._

_"Pretty in pink?" Lorelai grinned, holding up the video._

_"Oh! Cute."_

_"Crazy clothes."_

_"But strange hair." Rory wrinkled her nose._

_"Agreed. But afterwards…….X men?"_

_Rory raised an eyebrow. _

_"Hugh Jackman factor."_

_"Have you considered the classics?"_

_"Yes, I have."_

_"No chocolate factories tonight?"_

_"Rory!" Lorelai cried, "You're making it hard!"_

_Rory smirked. _

_Lorelai looked at her and blinked. "I swear I saw Tristan for a moment then."_

Rory stopped. Lorelai was concerned. _What's wrong, Rory? _

Rory's breathing hitched. She told her, slowly.

Lorelai felt the wetness on her cheeks before Rory even finished the sentence. She hung up and cried.

_"You kissed him?" Lorelai shrieked, "When where you gonna tell me?" She whined._

_Rory blushed. "It happened last night."_

_"Was he good?" Lorelai asked mischievously._

_"Mom!" Rory cried, embarrassed, "We've only kissed!"_

_"Sure." Lorelai crossed her arms._

_Rory stuck out her tongue. Lorelai stuck out her tongue too. They locked like that for a moment before Rory started giggling and they fell onto the couches, popcorn and movie – check._

Emily. She didn't seem sad, merely frightening optimistic. Rory could only nod and lie, _yes grandma, you don't need to call in favours for me, Tristan's taking care of it, don't worry, I'll be fine……._

_"I'm so glad you're with Tristan, Rory." Emily beamed._

_Tristan smiled that charming smile Rory always teased him about. "I'm the glad one."_

_Emily beamed at him too._

Rory and Tristan went to an informal lunch to meet Paris. During senior year, they had become good friends. Colleagues at Yale. Rory introduced her to Jess.

Paris was wildly excited because of a breakthrough article one of her new employees had written. Her story dulled as Rory just smiled kindly at her. Paris stopped short. 

_Jess grinned at Rory. "Emma is quite the little doll, Ror," He turned to Tristan, "She already has your smirk."_

Rory choked on her next words. Her husband, seeing her obvious discomfort, told them.

_The door jangled. _

_"Hey, Jess." Rory said._

_Jess looked up and began to smile. "Hey, Rory. Back from smart school, huh?"_

_She stuck out her tongue._

_"Real mature." Jess commented._

_"Jess, this is my boyfriend, Tristan Dugrey. Tris, this is Jess Mariano. Luke's nephew."_

_They exchanged hello's._

_"Jess," Rory said in a sweet voice, he quirked an eyebrow, "I have a favour to ask……"_

_"Oh, no." He backed up hastily._

_"What?" Rory pouted, "I haven't even asked!"_

_"Rory," Jess warned, "Don't pout……." He whined._

_"Why?" She said, still pouting, "Know you're gonna cave?"_

_Tristan looked on amused. Jess was over before he had time to begin._

_"Fine. What is it?" He sighed._

_"The country club is having a dance. I'm going with Tristan but my friend, Paris, doesn't have a date……." She trailed off meanfully._

_"The country club?" Jess asked, dismayed._

_Rory shrugged sheepishly. "My grandma wants me to go, and anyway, it's the holidays. I know you have time."_

_He thought for a moment. "But you owe me." He told her._

_She grinned. _

Jess's smile was sickeningly frozen on his face. He raised an eyebrow as if to say, _where's the punch line? But there wasn't any, and when he realised, his face fell._

Paris abruptly stood up_ and excused herself to the ladies room. Rory watched her hastily retreating back and followed. _

As soon as the door shut behind her, Paris whirled around to Rory and the tears spilt. Paris clung to Rory.

Perhaps people heard the noise from outside the door because no one came in for a long time.

_"Rory, I really hate to ask…….." Paris bit her lip, absolutely hating the fact she was asking favours._

_"What?" Rory smiled encouragingly._

_"Could I……..load the swim team assignment on you?" Beneath the gruff tone Rory knew she was hopeful._

_"Sure, Paris."_

_"Its just because, you know," Paris said hastily, "I'm doing the Anderson story, my history paper's due tomorrow and I've only written fifteen pages, and the chemistry test is in three we-"_

_Rory cut her off. "It's okay Paris. Don't worry about it."_

_"Really?" Paris looked surprised._

_"What are friends for?" Rory smiled._

_Paris looked like she was going to say something, but stopped short. She returned the smile. _

Rory patted Paris's back, _I'm still here, she had told her gently._

Paris only shook her head furiously, losing her legendary cool.

_"I didn't know I meant that much to you." Rory tried to lighten up the grim setting._

_And Paris cried and cried._

A knock on the door. A weary Tristan opened it. A blurry figure ran past him and screeched into the living room where Rory jumped with a start. _Mom, _she cried happily.

_"I love him so much, mom." Rory sighed._

_Lorelai looked at her glowing daughter. "He isn't going anywhere Rory."_

_"What would I do without him?" Rory looked scared, "I hate love."_

_"Love's a good thing," Lorelai told her gently, "Why would you hate it?"_

_"Because the day I met him again at that gift shop," Rory admitted, "I knew."_

_Lorelai waited._

_"That one day he would have the power to hurt me."_

_"He wouldn't do that, sweetie. He loves you, too."_

_"Love doesn't last forever, mom. Those are the movies."_

_"Have faith."_

_Silence._

_Rory blinked twice and looked at her. "Faith in what?"_

_"…….In his love."_

_"That is about the wisest thing you've ever said to me." Rory said in amusement._

_Lorelai laughed._

After Emma had talked to her grandmother and then been ushered into bed, Tristan kissed Rory's head affectionately before heading off himself.

"Can't they use, chemotherapy or something?" There was a desperate quality to Lorelai's voice that Rory didn't like hearing often.

Rory shook her head patiently. "Lane discussed this with me, its already too far gone."

Silence. Rory was so used to it by now. Well, that, and tears.

"How long?" Rory barely heard it.

"A few months." Rory said, lifting her chin up defiantly.

_"Luke! Coffee!" _

_Luke looked up gruffly. "Just because we're getting married doesn't mean you get unlimited coffee."_

_"You are so mean!" Lorelai cried, "Well at least give some to my lovely daughter who is heading back to Yale."_

_Luke shrugged and poured a cup for Rory who took it gratefully. _

_"Have a good time, kid. And tell that boyfriend of yours if he hurts you I'll kill him."_

_Rory laughed and took a sip. "Thanks, Luke."_

Lorelai stared at the coffee Rory was nursing with a delicate hand. "You gonna drink that missy?"

Rory smiled and lowered her head a fraction of an inch. "I only like to hold it now, because it's warm."__

Rory woke up to the strange sensation of being watched. 

She woke up to those blue eyes staring into hers so intently it burned.

She woke up to that familiar smell that heightened her senses.

 She woke up to the satin softness of the sheets, to his hand resting gingerly on her stomach. 

She kissed his face desperately. She buried herself in his arms. She needed his warmth and he let her.

_"Tristan, what are we doing here?" Rory looked at him puzzled, the wind whipping at her bare legs._

_He looked nervous and to Rory's absolute shock, got down on one knee._

_"Trist-" She began hesitantly._

_He gulped. "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, you are the girl of my dreams. Whatever strange universe that I'm in where you love me, I thank god for it. You can say no if you wan-"_

_He didn't even get to finish his sentence when Rory pounced on him, hugging him for all she was worth._

_"Let me finish my sentence, Mary." He said, even though he was immensely relieved._

_She grinned. _

_"Will you marry me?" _

_She hugged him all over again and they sat there, kissing and hugging, with her repeating yes, and she yelped when she saw the ring. Then she shrieked happily as the tide got her dress wet._

The room was still dark. He played with the brown strands of hair as her eyes fluttered and focused on his left hand. 

She absently stroked the gold. She began to slowly ease it off his finger. He snatched his hand away and looked at her, wounded.

She sighed and took a deep breath to speak, but found no words. 

_"I love you." He told her._

_"I know you do."_

_"Aren't you meant to say ' I love you too'?" He said teasingly._

_She shook her head playfully and poked him. "Because you already know the truth."_

_"And what's that?"_

_She planted a smacking kiss on his lips and he grinned at her._

Rory was used to the messages from colleagues at work now. 

At first, the conversations were so hilted and awkward Rory felt that everybody needed her strength and she briefly wondered if she even had any for herself. 

Tristan got her a cute pink answering machine. She kissed him, _thank you._

She sat there, clutching a pillow as the messages played. __

_Rory, this is Jennifer, oh girl! I'm so sorry, it shouldn't have happened to you. You're one of the best people I know. Call if you need anything, and I mean that._

Beep_._

_Hey Rory. Brad speaking. Thanks for doing what you did for page six. I never got to thank you for saving my ass. (chuckle) Well, thanks. That's what I get for hiring a genius! ……. And I'm sorry. You probably don't need the sympathy, huh. You're amazing, don't you ever forget it._

Beep_._

_Rory, this is-_

Beep_._

_Hey, Ror, remember me? I – _

Beep_._

_It's Dean. I know this call is completely unexpected and I'm sorry. My cousin lives in Star's Hollow and the news kind of got around. I…….don't really know what to say. Is Tristan taking good care of you? ……._

Rory had nodded absently at that part. Someone snorted behind her. She gave a small smile and turned around. He sat down beside her, gazing at the fireplace and the dancing orange flames.

He was gazing at her again, in that manner that seemed that he wanted to memorise every detail of her face.

_I love you, _He said suddenly, his voice hoarse and clipped to a point where Rory had to look to make sure it was Tristan.

_I know you do, _she answered finally. 

He held up his left hand and delicately laced it through hers, the rings making a small clinking noise which Rory thought was beautiful. __

She laughed, and Tristan dimly thought that he would miss that sound. _Sometimes, _she told him slowly, _just have faith._

He blinked twice. _Faith in what? He asked._

_My strength, _She answered simply, squeezing his hand tighter and resting her head on his shoulder. He sighed and wrapped an arm around her.

_Daisies. Everywhere. When Rory walked down the aisle, she was holding her breath. _

_When she was holding his hand and looking nervously into his eyes, she was holding her breath._

_ When she read her vows in a shaky voice, she was holding her breath. _

_………and I pronounce you husband and wife……. She breathed again._

A week later, Rory told Emma. She didn't understand, and Rory was glad for small favours. 

_When are you going to get better, Mommy? _Her innocent blue eyes stared up.

Rory didn't answer. 

_C'mon baby, _Tristan said, _mommy's tired. Let her rest._

Emma tip-toed up and kissed Rory's cheek and then scampered off to her room. When Tristan came back from tucking her in, all he could see was the brown hair falling over her shoulders and her face buried in her hands. 

_"You're amazing." Tristan told her loftily._

_"That's why you married me." Rory answered simply._

_"That, and you make a hell of a chocolate pudding." He laughed, beginning to run down the beach away from her._

_She reached out to whack him upside the head softly and gave chase. _

Tristan clenched his eyes shut and all he could hear was the quiet sobbing.

_Tristan dropped his suitcase on the floor. He walked around to Rory who was busy humming in the kitchen. He nuzzled her neck as she giggled._

_"Hello, beautiful. How's my girl?" He drawled._

_"Hello yourself." She smiled warmly._

_He bent down and looked at her stomach. "Correction, how are my girls?"_

_ And Rory laughed and laughed._

Rory could barely walk. The fact was apparent to her and Tristan, who saw his wife slowly thinning. Her hair was losing its lustier and she seemed more frail than ever, but those eyes. They were as beautiful as ever.

He had never loved her as much.

He was missing more and more work, trying to squeeze in every second with Rory. A senior partner complained.

_My wife is dying, but sure, you can still count on me to be here from seven til eleven,_ he snapped.They left him alone after that.

Because they finally realised that as she was dying, it was killing him too.

_Emma Lorelai Dugrey. Two months. Sleeping peacefully in the cradle._

_Emma Lorelai Dugrey. A year. Smudging cake all over uncle Jess on her birthday._

_Emma Lorelai Dugrey. Almost two. Sitting on the swing with Tristan gently pushing._

_Emma Lorelai Dugrey. Three and a half. Clinging to Rory's leg as she tried to get to work._

_Emma Lorelai Dugrey. Four and six months. First day at kindergarten._

_Emma Lorelai Dugrey. Six. Smudging cake all over uncle Jess on her birthday. _

Rory. The stairs. She slowly descended down……..it was so much harder than it was yesterday, or maybe that was just her imagination.

_Rory was speechless. _

_"Do you like it?" Tristan asked nervously._

_"Like it?" She breathed, as she stared at the immaculate house that rivalled her grandmother's mansion, "It's beautiful…….are you sure we can afford it?"_

_"My other good news."_

_She clapped her hands together. "This is a good day."_

_He laughed. "Mare, they made me a partner."_

_She squeaked and hugged him. "Congratulations!"_

_"Emma, do you like it?" Tristan asked his daughter as they stepped into the huge living room._

_"I like that." Emma pointed to the crystal chandelier dangling from the high ceiling. Tristan turned it on and the colours danced across the room, setting a new light and fire to everything the glow hit. _

_Rory felt a bubbling warmth inside her. She was home. _

Tristan rubbed his eyes. Focus on the projection screen. 

The phone at the centre of the table rang. Everyone stopped and hesitated. 

Arthur, a partner and a old friend of Tristan's father, pressed the button.

_Beatrice, we can't be interru- Oh._

Arthur looked anxious. __

_Don't look at me…….please don't look at me, _Tristan silently prayed.

He was in his car in three minutes flat.

_"I'm going to Palm springs." He told her._

_She stopped kissing his neck. "Why?" She asked, confused._

_"Business trip…….I'm sorry."_

_"For how long?" She pouted._

_"A week or so."_

_She frowned. "You're going to miss Emma's play."_

_He rubbed his temples. "I know, and I'm sorry. Arthur needs me there."_

_She was quiet. _

_I'm fine, _Rory protested at Paris, who had cut work to take care of her.

Tristan skidded past the room and then came rushing in, out of breath.

_What's wrong? Are you okay? _He asked desperately.

She nodded, embarrassed at the attention. _I'm fine sweetie, just fractured a rib._

Paris pursed her lips but didn't say anything.

Tristan leant over and kissed Rory on the lips, who graciously accepted the gesture.

Paris beckoned for Tristan to follow her outside.

_What happened? _Tristan hissed.

A sigh. _She fell. Down the last few steps._

Tristan closed his eyes. Any moment now he would wake up and wake up to Rory blowing softly at his hair like she did every morning. 

He would smile and she would smile that bright smile of hers and then he would finally register that it was morning. 

_Tristan, I'm worried. I know you have to go to work but – _

_I'll get a nurse. Or I'll quit._

_Rory wouldn't like that, _Paris protested, _I think a nurse is best._

_Yeah, _Tristan echoed after her, _a nurse would be best._

Silence. Funny how it seems so deafening.

Paris glanced back in the room to look at Rory, who was busy reading a tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice that Paris had brought for her. __

_Her can she bare it? _Paris said sadly.

_I don't know, _Tristan said, close to tears, _I don't know. _

_Rory glanced again at the empty seat next to her. _

_She looked up and gave an encouraging smile to the nervous Emma, who was dressed in a tutu. She looked adorable._

_ She glanced at the empty seat beside her and sighed. _

_Music was playing and Rory waited, knowing Emma had a few lines coming up. _

_She wished Tristan were here. She glanced at the empty seat next to her, and smiled to find it not so empty anymore. _

Tristan softly told Rory that she needed a nurse to take care of her. It wasn't that she protested or yelled at him that was frightening, it was that she seemed almost defeated as she nodded her head wearily. 

Tristan's heart gave a lurch.

Tristan walked into the bedroom. He smiled as he looked at Rory calmly reading a copy of Romeo and Juliet. 

The hospital had released her a few days ago. And it was a good thing too; the room had looked like a florist.

_Daisies again? _Rick asked, holding out a bouquet before he even arrived.

Tristan gave a small smile, _Yeah, thanks. _

_You've been here everyday this week, if you don't mind me asking, who are these for?_

_My wife, _Tristan answered, _She's sick._

Rick was sorry for asking, _I hope she gets better._

Tristan handed him a bill and barely inclined his head. _I do too._

She patted the seat next to her without looking up. 

He asked if she was reliving the good days.

_And what are so bad about these days? _She replied, setting the book down. He stared at the carpet.

_Everything, _He mumbled. She touched his hair and Tristan closed his eyes. 

_Everything? _She was amused.

_Why aren't you afraid? _He asked, not wanting to meet her eyes. 

_Because I know you are too._

_It's not fair Rory, _He hated how weak he was being. She needed him and he was falling apart. 

His voice hitched at the end. He hoped she hadn't noticed.

She did.

_I've got my friends, my relatives, a beautiful little girl and someone who I truly love; _she cupped his cheek, _who loves me back. Life has been good to me._

He was quiet for a very long time. He looked up finally and he slumped down into her arms, where she rubbed his hair like a little boy. 

_Why do you talk like you're already gon……._He trailed off, heady with the scent of her.

He could hear her smile. _It's okay to cry, Tristan……._

_I can't. _

_Why not? _Her voice was so soft and kind.

_Not around you. _He said desperately.

She kissed him. _Romeo, romeo, where for art thou Romeo?_

He cracked a dry smile. _Are those all the lines you remember?_

She pouted. _I remember, thus with a kiss, I die. _She said triumphantly.

It came out before she realised. Tristan's face fell as Emma watched by the doorway.

_"Happy anniversary." _

_Rory woke up to those words. The hazy figure crouched in front of her with a tray full of delicious smelling things was smirking. She was happy._

_"You remembered." She teased._

_He pretended to be shocked. "Of course I would! You don't give me enough credit." He pouted._

_"Well, thank you." She said sincerely._

_He winked. "C'mon, get up. Emma's with Jess. We're heading out."_

_She laughed as he hauled her up. "Where are we going?"_

_"You'll see." He said mysteriously._

_"You have a thing for surprises, don't you."_

_He smirked. "Eat breakfast and then maybe I'll let the secret out early."_

_She squealed. "You're the best."_

_He laughed. "That's what you tell me."_

_She wrinkled her nose. "Your ego is spreading."_

_He grabbed her by the waist and spun her around. _

Rory went to dinner at her grandparent's. 

Emily was silent. Richard was silent. Lorelai was overly cheery, although to everyone it was apparent it was being forced. Tristan had mono-syllabic answers for everything. 

Rory didn't think it was a good idea for Emma to be at this particular dinner so she asked Paris to take care of her for the night.  

Silence reigned.

Rory was exasperated. _Stop it._

Emily looked up, surprised. _Stop what, Rory?_

_Stop acting like I'm already dead._

Silence echoed through the room.

Richard got up and left.

Emily closed her eyes. _You've got a very good chan-_

Rory stared. 

_Hey guys, _Lorelai cut in nervously, _wow, look at that lamb! The sauce looks great! Don't you think Tristan?_

Lorelai was sending him anxious messages to intervene. But he could only stare.

_-Grandma, I don't have a very good chance. _Rory seemed sorry about being so blunt before, her tone softened.

_Yes you do Rory. _Emily said firmly.

_No, I don't. I'm going to die. _

Tristan stiffened despite himself.

Emily banged her fork on the table, got up and left in the same direction as her grandpa. Lorelai just looked at Rory with sad eyes. 

_"Yale." Richard said firmly, along with a very firm shake of the head by Janlan._

_Eva Margeret Dugrey shook her head. "Harvard."_

_"What about Princeton?" Emily cut in._

_Rory and Tristan just turned to stare at each other. Apparently, during the midst of a pleasant luncheon between the families, they decided to discuss the contents of Emma's future._

_"Princeton? Our families are Yale bound!" Richard looked appalled._

_"But it must be ivy league, surely!" Eva cut in._

_That was met by unanimous nods. _

_"Tristan and Rory both went to Yale," Janlan said, "So its obvious where Emma should be going."_

_Emma tugged on Rorry's sleeve. "Mommy, what are they talking about?"_

_Rory ruffled the girl's hair. "Nothing sweetie." But despite herself, Rory could see Emma, fourteen years in the future, heading off to Yale, or Harvard. She couldn't wait for that day._

Jess called a few days later. Tristan answered. Jess invited them over for dinner. Tristan hesitated, but told Jess that he didn't think Rory was up to it. 

_She sleeps a lot. _

Jess was sorry. Tristan said that he knew. Jess promised to come visit soon. 

_Give Rory my love._

Tristan turned quietly to look at Rory, whose breathing was unsteady. She looked frail. __

_It's okay to hate me._

_Why would I want to do a thing like that? _He remembered her laughing. They talked a lot in the evenings. About life, memories, the good times they shared. __

_Because I'm not really there for you._

She actually hit him on the shoulder. _What exactly have you been doing all this time?_

_Been scared. Running from the truth. _He wanted to be honest.

_Which is? _She snuggled deeper into his side.

_That I love you too much to let you go._

She sighed in content The sun lowered itself, casting a glow as far as the eye could see, before finally vanishing, the spectrums of light casting dancing images against the bench. The light split into colours, each shade even more beautiful than the last. The sky was a haze of pink.

_That, _He told her gently, _is exactly how I feel about you._

Soon after, Rory stopped getting up from bed and Tristan brought her food whenever he could, otherwise there were nurses around the clock. 

Emma didn't really understand what was going on, and Tristan thanked god for small favours. Emma seemed to liven her mother up, apparently, the energy was infectious. 

Rory rang Emily. They had a very long talk and when Rory placed the phone back on the hook, looking disheartened, and Tristan knew Emily had finally understood that her grandchild wasn't going to make it to her next birthday.

A lot of people had come to visit. But most of the time Rory was resting, and all they could do was sit next to her. 

Jess walked in. One of the rare days she was awake. 

She smiled at him. 

_Hey Ror, _He said softly.

_Hey there._

_How are you? _He knew it was a stupid question.

_Tired. _She let out a little laugh.

He looked at Rory, resting against the pillows that seemed so huge in comparison. 

_Don't leave us, _he said quietly.

She actually laughed again. _I don't plan these things, Jess._

_Well, whoever does – sucks._

_You're a good friend, Jess._

_You're a great friend, Rory. _He answered truthfully.

She gave that wry smile. _How's Paris?_

_Working like mad to take her mind off…….this. _He waved his hand helplessly.

_And what is this? _She asked curiously.

_You. _His voice broke.

_Why does everyone cry around me? _She was amused as she closed her eyes.

_………Because its too sad not to._

_Jess……._

_I love you Rory. _He cut in, _you're one of the best things that's every happened to me._

She beckoned him closer and hugged him tight. 

Tristan had begun the habit of reading sections of Rory's favourite books to her. Rory would lie there, her wavy brown hair fanned around her on the pillow as he rambled on. Sometimes she would curl against him, and those were the times he loved best. 

She slept all the time. Tristan took leave off work. Arthur let him.

Lorelai came by a lot. But most of the time, she would stand outside the door and look in. Tristan knew it was too hard for her to see her little girl like that. There was once…….once, when she went inside. Tristan didn't know what words were exchanged but the expression of grief mingled with acceptance on Lorelai's face when she left to hug Tristan was indescribable.

_Take care of her Tristan. _He promised. 

Her eyes would flutter and every time he saw that she was awake, he would tell her that he loved her, scared that that was the last thing he would say to her. 

_"Are you glad you married me?" Rory asked teasingly._

_"Very much so." He breathed._

_"I'm glad."_

_"Glad?" He smirked, loosening his tie as he wrapped his arms around her._

_"Very much so, Bible boy. Very much."_

_"Thank you, Mary."_

_"For what?" She gave him a innocent smile._

_"For everything."_

_"You're welcome." She said, kissing his cheek._

One day. She woke up. She cried a little and called for Emma. Tristan got her. 

Rory hugged Emma as tight as she could and told her that she loved her. 

A few minutes later, she called Tristan into the room. She gave him a few letters that she wanted him to give to people.

_Does it hurt? _He asked hesitantly, hating to see her like this.

_Only a little. _She smiled.

_I love you. _He told her, and meaning it with his soul.

_I love you too. _The room became blurry. 

He noticed that she had begun to cry, and the funny thing was, he was too.

_I thought you were meant to say 'I know you do'? _He teased, his voice rough.__

She moved her head slowly from side to side. _Because I know the truth. Her head rested against the pillow and to Tristan, she looked like a beautiful and fragile antique doll. _

_And what's that? _That clink of the rings rang through the room, he stopped for a split second, _You can go, Mary._

She pressed her lips to his. _I'll be seeing you, _she whispered. 

And then he knew she was gone. 

And Rory felt herself drifting. Past the stairs, weightless. 

Vanishing. She saw the chandelier. And for one glorious instant she needed to touch it. 

She reached out, her hands not frail anymore but like they once were. Grasping the firm crystal as they colours stunned her.

_…….I love you…….will you marry me? …….let me finish my sentence first, Mary…….hello, beautiful…….mommy…….my little baby…….surprise…….happy anniversary…….i'm pregnant…….you are so…….You can go, Mary…….thank you for everything…….._

And finally she let go of the crystal. 

Not sad or angry. 

But so thankful. 

And then she was gone, drifting in her memories.

_Tristan walked out an hour later._

_ His head hung low and his eyes rimmed red. His shoes creaked along the now empty house. _

_He needed to see Emma. He stopped, wondering why on earth the chandelier was left on to burn so brightly? _

Funny, he didn't even remember turning it on. 


End file.
